he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
