Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
