If i come over, it means nothing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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