Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
