glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize