Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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