cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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