i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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