Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
