The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
