Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
