Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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