If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
