thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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