Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
