I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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