Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just want to make out with him forever
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
