it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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