You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
