remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
did you just send me my own nude
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
