we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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