ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
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does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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