I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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