So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
