I didn't shave. On purpose
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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