it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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