no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
