This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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