i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
