Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
