all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
