WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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