drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
