I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
