my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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