I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
