You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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