woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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