Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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