It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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