Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
