put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
