I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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