i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize