and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
