I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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