i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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