I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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