Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
