you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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