You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
