I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
