so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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