the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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