Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
