I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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