do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
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I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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