hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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