Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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