Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
