ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
