I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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