This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
3 2 1 whiskey
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
