can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
