first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
