i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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