Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
